


Alec's Angsty Playlist

by LaCroixWitch



Series: Magnus Bane Listens to Music [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Accidental Sleepover, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Feels, Cute, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Drunk Alec Lightwood, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff without Plot, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Innocence, Insecure Magnus Bane, Inspired by Music, M/M, Magnus Bane Being Magnus Bane, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane is a Little Shit, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, No Smut, Playlist, Pre-Relationship, Tipsy Magnus Bane, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 09:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19353895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaCroixWitch/pseuds/LaCroixWitch
Summary: What could the harm be in snooping around Alexander's music library? Magnus is going to find out...





	Alec's Angsty Playlist

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer. I down't own anything relate to Shadowhunters, and I don't own the rights to the songs I mention. 
> 
> Notes: This was a passing thought I had today while at work and listening to some old pop-punk music. There's not a lot of substance, just cute drabble and some throwback tracks! Enjoy this sweet, fluffy, garbage!

 

"I just feel like sometimes, I didn’t you know… have the chance to be a real teenager growing up in The Institute.” Alec took a sip of his red wine. The taste was still new to him, and something about it made him think it was more expensive than he could comprehend. Tonight, he and Magnus were lounging out on the balcony, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. Words and alcohol were both flowing freely- a change of pace for the awkward and innocent shadowhunter. They’d been up here for hours, and at this point they were both beyond tipsy. 

 

“Well, Alexander, what would you have done differently do you think? I imagine they didn’t have a high tolerance for...” Magnus pursed his lips as he made vague gestures in the air. He was trying to choose his words wisely “...rebellion. Not that you would’ve had time for it between all the training and missions.”

 

“I don’t even know what I missed out on.” He took another sip, nearing the end of his glass. With a snap of Magnus’ fingers, the cup refilled.  “But I was pretty lonely I guess? My only friends were Jace and Izzy, and we didn’t get out much. Maybe I would’ve liked to sneak out, try to skateboard, listen to music really loudly, wear weird clothes.”

 

“ _Please_ tell me that you wouldn’t have worn acid-wash jeans given the chance. I couldn’t stand to see you let yourself stoop so low.” Not that Alec’s style was anything to write home about as is, but at least it was practical, well fitting, and all black. The warlock always was a sucker for a man who was tall, dark, and handsome. The hazel eyes with stars reflected in them didn’t hurt either.

 

“I don’t know!” he slapped Magnus playfully on the shoulder. “Would you still invite me over for drinks if I did?” He flashed a crooked grin, his lids a bit heavy. It was a rare instance where Alec Lightwood was lighthearted.

 

“Of course I would Alexander.” Magnus stared longingly at the man next to him. It was quiet for a few minutes before Magnus had another hilarious thought.

 

“Or… did you want to straighten your hair, grow it long, have bangs that covered your eyes?” Magnus reached over, pushing Alec’s wavy hair down over his forehead. He squinted his eyes, trying to imagine what he would look like with scene-kid hair.

 

“That would not be very practical for shadowhunting.” Alec deadpanned, turning his attention back to his wine glass.

 

“Wait- did you want to go to a _Jonas Brothers_ concert?” The warlock mocked a gasp. 

 

“What is a Jonas Brother?” Alec furrowed his brow, cocking his head to the side. “Wait- I don’t want to know, do I?” He held up a finger in warning.

 

“You never had any of the experiences that you’d look back on now and be embarrassed about? You’re upset that you were never… cringe-worthy?”

 

“I don’t know,” The shadowhunter chuckled a bit. “Maybe it doesn’t really make sense… maybe I’m not making much sense.”

 

“There has to be something about your youth that was funny looking back. What music did you listen to back then? It was what… the early 2000s right? Mid 2000s? God, music all starts to blend together when you’re as old as I am. Who was popular back then… Jordan Sparks? Kelly Clarkson, Fall Out Boy?”

  
“I didn’t really listen to much music. I hadn’t really known what to look for. I mean, I had an iPod and all, but there wasn’t much on it.” He shrugged his broad shoulders as he took another sip.

 

“Wait- was that the same ancient iPod I saw you using the other day? That thing looks almost older than you are. Why don’t you just listen to music on your phone like everyone else? Have you not heard of Spotify?”

 

“Spot- what?”

 

Magnus shook his head. Alec was so absorbed in the shadowhunter world that he barely had any idea of went on in the normal, mundane world. It was easy to forget that there was still much he didn’t know about Alec. This was only the third or fourth time he’d come over late at night for drinks, and they haven’t even went out on a date yet- not that Magnus wasn’t laying the charm on thick. Somehow it felt like he knew Alec forever.

 

“You need to download it on your phone, I’ll make you playlists to listen to. You are in _dire_ need of a musical education. I bet you don’t even know who Drake is. ”

 

“I have a musical education. I played the cello.” Alec looked somewhere between insulted and clueless. 

 

Magnus rolled his eyes. Sometimes his shadowhunter was so dense. 

 

“So… what do you listen to now?”

 

“Mostly just whatever you’re playing here. Everything sounds so pretty on your record player, even if I never know any of the songs. All your music sounds like it’s for dancing though, and I don’t dance.” He shifted to his side awkwardly.

 

“You don’t like to or you don’t know how?” Magnus raised one eyebrow. He had rolled over on his lounger, sitting on his stomach with his chin resting on his hands. Alec never understood how Magnus could always look so comfortable. Not just emotionally, but physically. Alec was more relaxed and open around Magnus than he was around anyone, even though they hadn’t known each other very long. But Alec was just a long, lanky assortment of limbs- almost giraffe like. He never felt natural in his body, always unsure how to cross his legs and never knowing what to do with his hands.

 

“Both… I think.” Alec yawned, stretching his sinewy, muscled arms above his head. “Although nobody’s ever asked me to dance before.” 

 

“I’ve been told I’m a _fabulous_ teacher, I just haven’t been able to find the right student.” Magnus winked.

 

The alcohol was clearly starting to get to Alexander, and Magnus could tell Alec wouldn’t be awake much longer. He started to nod off on the couch on the balcony, and Magus was hesitant to let him sleep outside.

 

Confidence was what Magnus had been most confident in for his long, storied existence. He had always been so sure of himself, acting without question. Something about the hazel-eyed black haired Lightwood boy, however, made him question everything. Last time Alec had fallen asleep at the loft, it had been on the couch. That was easy enough. Magnus had just provided a blanket and pillow and didn’t give it another thought. Now, it was a bit more complicated. 

 

_The wind feels like it’s going to rain…  I can’t have him getting wet, now can I? I can’t leave him out there like a homeless puppy!_

 

He briefly considered moving Alec into his bedroom. After all, it would be the most comfortable place in the house. This was just a pipe dream, since Alec would never make that decision on his own. 

 

_A warlock can dream, though._

 

If it hadn’t been so late at night, he would have done a bit of quick redecorating in the loft and built out a guest room. He used to have one, but he replaced it with a fourth library in the last remodel. A few bottles of wine did not do wonders for his magical prowess though, and the thought of doing that much decorating made his head spin.

 

Moving Alec to the indoor couch was an option, but something about that felt pointless. It wouldn’t be any more comfortable, and it would feel so routine.

 

_Where’s the magic in that? You can’t do something that simple and practical. You’re trying to win him over after all, not bore him. Be creative here…_

 

The perfect idea suddenly came to him; something that would be practical, magical and also just the right amount of romantic. Instead of making the rain his adversary, he decided to make it his ally. Decorating might take up some energy he didn’t have, but creating a simple glass, greenhouse covering for the balcony was doable. It would be a change of scenery without giving the poor shadowhunter the scare of being abducted. The canopy appeared just in time, rain beginning to patter on the panes of glass.  It looked a little unfinished, with just the bare ceiling, so he flicked his wrist to create a few hanging houseplants. 

 

With a waving gesture, he scanned his hands over Alec. The cushioned-iron lounger stretched out into a daybed of sorts, comfortably accommodating the tall shadowhunter’s frame. A pillow supported his neck, and the cushions underneath him puffed fuller until they were a comfortable mattress. A final flourish blanketed a soft down comforter over Alec’s muscular body, settling softly into all of his curves. Not wanting the innocent man to feel violated, he decided to not swap out his clothes for pajamas. Taking a step back, he assessed his handiwork. He was pleased, and gave himself permission to go to sleep.

 

Something caught Magnus’ eye as he walked back to his bedroom: Alec had left his backpack by the door. A terrible idea quickly flashed in his head.

 

_It would be so easy… almost too easy._

 

He shook his head, trying to forget the thought- but something was keeping his feet planted there as he stared at the black, worn, canvas backpack. The curiosity was tempting to kill the cat-eyed warlock. 

 

_He would never find out._

 

Magnus bent down slowly, unzipping the front pocket of the backpack. Alec was practical, and he would most likely store small items in the smaller pockets. Smaller items like an old, well-used silver iPod. 

 

_There we go, now let’s open you up._

 

Magnus was immediately thankful that the iPod was so old: it didn’t have any pesky lock screen or fingerprint sensor. Just one of those old click wheels that reminded him of rotary telephones. 

 

There wasn’t much on the iPod, only about 200 songs. But what caught his eye was that Alec only had two playlists: "gym" and "Playlist 1". The second was clearly an autogenerated playlist name. It was typical Alexander to not bother to name it. 

 

Gym was self-explanatory enough. It was mostly classic rock or music that had a fast pace. He imagined most of it was Jace’s suggestion for when they trained together. There was nothing remarkable, nothing too unique. 

 

Angst, however, contained music Magnus never would have expected. Of course it made sense- Alec seemed like he was full of brooding, internalized emotions, and angst. He never dreamed, not in a million years, that Alec would be self-aware enough to make such a playlist.

 

 _Maybe he isn’t, maybe he’s just projecting._ Magnus mused, preparing himself to do a full on, not judgmental at all, psychoanalysis of this collection of songs. He conjured himself a nightcap martini, settling into a plush, crushed velvet armchair. 

 

Almost all of the music was at least a decade old. Surprisingly, there were some standards that almost any teenage boy would have listened to back in the day. He wondered if Alec discovered it when it became popular, or if he had been more of a late bloomer.

 

_Late bloomer- definitely._

 

Deciding it was far too quiet in the loft, he decided to slip in the earbuds Alec had meticulously wrapped around the iPod and listen along as he snooped. He tried his best not to laugh at the content.There was Green Day: only Boulevard of Broken Dreams and Wake Me Up When September ends. Magnus chuckled, picking an olive off his toothpick. 

 

 _Of course he picks only the sad, tearjerker songs._ He wondered for a second when Alexander first heard those songs. Perhaps on the radio, or maybe a movie if he ever made it out to one. Izzy somehow had decent taste in music- she and Magnus were friends on every form of social media, including following each other on Spotify. Remembering Izzy’s taste in electronic music, he made a mental note to take out the shadowhunter crew- Alec included- to a nightclub soon.He was getting sidetracked from his mission: at this rate, it would be morning and Alexander would be awake before he even read halfway through the playlist.

 

It seemed as if all of the songs on this iPod were on this playlist- it was well over 100 songs. A clear theme emerged, as if the title wasn’t self explanatory enough. Every type of sad-boy music was represented, from The Cure and REM to Panic! At the Disco and Disturbed. The main meat of the selection though was mainstream pop-punk: the epitome of angst. 

 

He had at least three entire albums by My Chemical Romance- an obvious guilty pleasure that Magnus would be sure to tease Alec about at some point.  It was just a generic smattering of some of their most aggressive tracks, most of them with titles to make any downworlder smirk:

 

_Vampires Will Never Hurt You_

My Chemical Romance

 

_House of Wolves_

My Chemical Romance

 

_Thank You for the Venom_

My Chemical Romance

 

_Headfirst for Halos_

My Chemical Romance

 

There were songs by Linkin Park that every thirteen year old boy would relate to: 

 

_In the End_

Linkin Park

 

_Numb_

Linkin Park

 

Those were very eye-roll worthy. Some songs were so arguably hilarious that Magnus found himself doubled over in the chair, about to spill his drink, just from trying to not wake Alec up with roaring laughter:

 

_Down with the Sickness_

Disturbed

 

_Bring me to Life_

Evanescence

 

_The Beautiful People_

Marilyn Manson

 

It’s not like they were necessarily bad songs, but they were so overly dramatic and adolescent that it reminded Magnus of just how young his shadowhunter was.

 

 _Bold of you to call him_ ** _your_** _shadowhunter, Magus. He just came over to have some drinks and talk. Sure, he’s fallen asleep doing that here once before, but it’s not like the liquor is free flowing at the institute._

 

Doubt filled Magnus’ mind, his sudden lack of confidence getting the best of him. Soon though, a dam started to build up around the insecurity, holding it back and allowing it to quiet; Mangus was nearing the end of the playlist. If memory served him well, songs were added in order. That meant he was starting to see the songs Alec had added most recently.

 

_That can’t be true_

 

But it was true. The culprit of Magnus’ disbelief was the change in tone of the song titles. Each one was still saturated in angst, but the meaning behind them was a bit different. They were all Love songs. Songs about longing, wanting, and wishing for something you can’t have. Songs by people who didn’t have the right words to say how they feel. Songs by people who don’t want to have the feelings they do, or are scared. 

 

There were the heartache classics:

 

_I miss you_

Blink-182

 

_I Want the One I Can’t Have_

The Smiths 

  


Then there were the edgier options with emotions ranging from desperation to denial: 

 

_All Over You_

The Spill Canvas

 

_I don’t wanna be in Love_

Good Charlotte

 

 _Ghost of You_  

My Chemical Romance

 

_Scars_

Papa Roach

 

The Gorillaz made an appearance, with their cryptic _Melancholy Hill_ about not being able to have what you want. 

 

 _Oh, I can give this boy_ **_anything_ ** _he wants._

 

The very end of the playlist took a turn for the positive though. More upbeat and hopeful selections were becoming more common. Magnus thought some people might even call these songs cute or fun if it wasn’t still pop-punk.

 

Some of the songs were confident and determined, full of energy:

 

_Dirty Little Secret_

All-American-Rejects 

 

Here (In Your Arms)

Hellogoodbye

 

_The Great Escape_

Boys Like Girls

  


_I’ll try not to take that heteronormative band name of that last song to heart._ Magnus snickered to himself.

 

Some of the songs had a more clear emotional agenda, raw and honest:

 

crushcrushcrush

Paramore

 

Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met...)

Panic! At The Disco

 

The last song said it all. It was adorable, cheesy, and he hated it.  It was so painfully cute and nothing that he would ever expect from the tough shadowhunter. But imagining Alec, perhaps laying in bed with these same headphones on, listening to something so pure made Magnus feel something he hadn’t felt for a while.

 

First Day of my Life

Bright Eyes

 

He hovered the cursor above the song, pausing for a second before he made a decision. If he did this, it would mean acknowledging that this relationship was going to be something more, that it wasn’t just unresolved, one-sided tension. Listening to those words, as silly as they were, thinking that someone felt that way about them- it would undo him. He would unravel faster than a ball of yarn that went two seconds with Chairman Meow. A few tense seconds passed as he tried to organize all of his thoughts and gain some composure. Despite all of his effort to not let his heart open completely, his walls crumbled. 

 

He clicked play.


End file.
